


Tea With a Hint of Rue

by IroncladValkyrie



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8927260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IroncladValkyrie/pseuds/IroncladValkyrie
Summary: One day, those memories would be tainted.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written much about Walter's thoughts, so I decided I would give it a try.

 

“I am through with this.” The words were accompanied by the loud noise of a thick stack of papers being dropped onto the desk. It came so suddenly, immediately following the scribbling of a pen that had been going on for hours, that it made the Hellsing butler almost let go of the duster he was using on the bookshelf. He turned a concerned face to his young master.

“Are you alright, my lady?”

Integra lifted her face from where she had buried it in her hands and sighed, her shoulders slumped in defeat. “There is no way I can finish this today, Walter.”

He cocked an eyebrow but remained silent. This was the first time in more than a year that he had seen her stop working. As a matter of fact, it was the first time that he had heard her voice out her exhaustion, and in said time she had been through the death of her father, an assassination attempt from her uncle, and having to learn to manage the Hellsing Organization almost all by herself, with no more help than what he could offer.

She finally straightened her spine, looked at him, and stated with the same determination with which she ordered her troops. “I am going out, I cannot think straight anymore.” She stood up, gathered a cross-body bag that had been laying on a chair, and spoke to him again, her voice much quieter and, dare he say, shy. “Would you accompany me? We could go to a tea room instead of you having to make it…”

He felt his chest swell up with pride and fondness for this girl that he had helped raise. “Of course I will.”

“ _Do I get to come?_ ” A slithering voice rose from the very bowels of the mansion.

Integra dug the heel of her shoe into the wooden floor, as if it could actually reach a particular creature’s face.

“No, you don't. Stay in your bloody quarters for once!” Both Walter and the source of the remark were amused at the way frustration laced the command, yet both said nothing. Integra huffed and looked up at her butler. “We are leaving. _Now_. Or I will set fire to this office.”

The butler nodded with a grin on his lips and followed his young mistress as she stomped out of said room.

 

It was a relief not to stand out in the London crowds and to have their conversation now be just one among many in the big tea room. Furthermore, Integra had made it a rule not to talk business and he was happy to indulge her; as hard as it was to tiptoe around the obvious nature of both of their lives, discussing menial topics such as the weather or the state of the mansion's gardens was an interesting enough exercise.  
  
The clothes that she had worn the previous year no longer fit her, and her wardrobe was becoming increasingly business-oriented, but she had picked out a warm dress for that day. It was not as frilly as the ones her father had once or twice made her wear when she was younger, but it looked just right on her small frame. How had this child, that he so reluctantly had once held as a newborn, turned into a lady right before his very eyes?

He felt like he should have been ashamed of such soft feelings, his younger self would certainly have been. How could he not, however, feel pride in her? She had been left alone to fight for her life, and she had come out victorious, not only by taking her rightful inheritance, but by being the one to pull the trigger on the usurper herself. He had known she would.

_Lies, all lies. You were not sure she would make it._

The small voice in his head stung his chest more than he expected. Yes, the fact that she had been left alone with Richard had been his own doing, but all part of a master plan. She had never been an intended victim, he could never purposely hurt her…

_Ah, she is just a casualty, then?_

He did his best to listen to her idle talk, but the voice nagging at his conscience was relentless. _What will all these memories become once you betray her? Once she looks back at this and revises everything under that new light, or that new darkness, that you will have brought into her life. That is, if she makes it out alive._

“Walter!” Her worried call finally brought him back to reality to notice that he had dropped the teacup he had been holding, the tea spilling onto the fine table cloth. The porcelain item laid shattered on the ground, and one of the waiters hurried to pick up the pieces and clean up.

Integra was still staring at him with blue eyes clouded by concern. _Concern for him_ . He did not deserve such attention, he did not deserve _her_...

“I am sorry, my lady.” He gave her a reassuring smile and adjusted his monocle. “I must just be getting old, that is all.”

She visibly relaxed her shoulders and returned his smile with one of her own. “It is alright. We were done anyway.” She gestured at the empty plates of tea sandwiches. She was not one to eat much, but she had thoroughly enjoyed it this time. She hurried to pay and walked with him.

The sky was already darkening as they put on their winter coats and stepped outside.

He suddenly felt desperate for a smoke. He had almost given up the habit, but he still did it when he was too tense. He closed his mind off again. You never knew when the wretched leech that inhabited the mansion was listening, how far his power could reach.

“Would you be offended if I smoked?”

Integra eyed him with curiosity. She had only seen him smoking a couple of times, and he had been quick to extinguish and dispose of the cigarette when he noticed her nearby.

“Why, of course not. You do not need to ask me.”

He pulled the small silver case out of his breast pocket and searched for a cigarette in it.. “Of course I do, it is the polite thing for a butler to do. That I am even doing this in front of you goes against all rules of etiquette.”

He pressed it to his lips with trembling hands that he hoped she could not see, and lit it. Relief was instant, more of a placebo than anything at that point. Just having the cigarette unlit between his lips had always been enough to calm him down, even as a teenager.  The smoke dissipated into the crimson sky as they both waited by the side of the street.

Integra finally turned. “Then, if you will smoke in front of me, you should at least share.”

He almost dropped it just as he had dropped the teacup earlier. “Are you sure? My lady, I would not be that much of an hypocrite to deny your request, but… “ He wanted to say she was too young, but he had started even earlier than that.

She extended her hand. “I just want to try it. Indulge me a bit more for this evening.”

He was about to pull a new one out, but her gloved yet warm hand on his wrist stopped him. “That would be a waste, give me yours.”

This was too much familiarity, but, again, had he not been almost a father to this girl? A fine job he was doing, for sure…. He shook his head with a smile and gave it to her. He saw her awkwardly bringing it to her mouth, eyebrows knit in concentration. He did feel like he was watching some twisted ritual of passage when she inhaled, as did the uninitiated, much too forcefully.

_One, two, three..._

She broke into a coughing fit and he almost grabbed her- not that it would have helped- but she waved her hand at him and controlled her own breathing before giving him the cigarette back. He pressed it against the stone wall and disposed of it.

“These are awful.” She chuckled at herself and looked at him through the heavy mane of her blonde hair. He was relieved for a moment, before she spoke again in a thoughtful voice.

“I will have to just get some higher quality ones.”

  
  



End file.
